you can love someone but also have that person be so toxic to your existence that it outweighs your love entirely. This is truly an apt description for who your father was and how he affected your live. Cutting yourself off from him must have been hard, because the love is still there, but it seems like it was in self-defense.
And there's nothing like grief mixed with fear or anger or resentment. I don't think you can really understand it unless you've been through it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-07-03 04:58 pm (UTC)This is truly an apt description for who your father was and how he affected your live. Cutting yourself off from him must have been hard, because the love is still there, but it seems like it was in self-defense.
And there's nothing like grief mixed with fear or anger or resentment. I don't think you can really understand it unless you've been through it.